Well, I bit the bullet today. I began writing on a subject that on it’s surface should seem easy to do but for me is really the hardest.
My memories of my relationship with Cindy. This chapter traversed so many topics and timelines as it wound in and around itself which is ok with me. Our relationship was so precious, so bonded, so unique that it would never fall in to some kind of definition.
I’m glad I started on it today and at least opened the door. It ended up being a very long chapter all in all.
Here are some excerpts:
“My sister is good at everything” she told people throughout our lives. “If she tries something, she’s going to be good at it”.
This was her explanation of why I struggled so much picking a major in college. Not that I was failing but that I was just too good at everything so it was hard to land on one thing. I wish that were true but to have someone perceive you like that is just something irreplacable. She was incapable of seeing other than the best in me from start to finish.
People often mistook us for twins although Cindy was always long and lean and me shorter and stocky. She was brunette to my blonde and our faces were really not that similar. Yet our voices were nearly identical and our mocked expressions were the giveaway. We created our own little world and relished living in it. We had our own language, our own symbols, our own private jokes and our own intimacy that no one, almost no one ever penetrated.
There was one road trip to LA where Cindy produced a tape recorder she’d borrowed from her work at the school system office. She’d brought it home for a project then got a wild hair to bring it on our road trip to visit Buddha in Santa Monica.
“I have a great idea for our trip” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “We’re going to interview each other”.
She named this interview show, via cassette tape, “The Dan Rather Show”.
For some reason, she spoke this name in in a semi British pretentious accent so it came out “The Dahn Rahthah Show”.
“Welcome to the Dahn Rahthah Show. Today’s guest will be….Oprah Winfrey!” and then she would interview me, using that five inch microphone tethered to the bulky cassette player while insisting I stay in character as Oprah Winfrey the whole time. Until she decided she was bored with Oprah and needed a new guest.
We made it down to Rocky Point with our bathing suits, sleeping bags, weird snacks and a plan to find people to camp with on the beach but it was just approaching sunset. And it was packed, everywhere. We saw a “Se Renta” sign and pulled in to an office begging them for a place to rent with our meager stash of cash. “Todo esta ocupada” they told us indicating basically No Room at the Inn anywhere.
Cindy begged and begged and finally we were handed the keys to an empty house. When I say empty I mean a completely barren house save two unmade beds, no living room furniture,no electricity but it had running (cold) water. “We’ll take it!” Cindy said. It was just one night and if we decided to stay another surely we’ll make friends on the beach and crash at their campsite. We always stumbled in to good luck like that.
I spent some time on twitter today following the debacle known as the Jodi Arias trial. It’s almost too disgusting, from a victim standpoint, to watch but I feel obligated to speak out about victim abuse so I keep doing it. There is a large audience there and I feel outrage is an appropriate response. My heart is with the Alexander siblings although I can’t be there in person. I’m always with them in spirit.
I know I picked up quite a few new followers today who are also following that case. Welcome aboard. I generally endeavor to post morning and evening while I’m here in the Northwest on a Sabbatical working on this book. Thanks for coming along.
Finally my heart goes out to the Esteban and Corrina Flores family tonight. They buried their 15 year old son over the weekend and there are just no words for that kind of grief. They have set up a foundation for donations in his name. I’m making mine as soon as I sign off of here.
Here is the link to the donation site: click here.
there is an blog post I wrote about my involvement in that trial and the similarities between Cindy and Travis here
As I went looking for a photo of Detective Flores, I found this one of me behind Travis’ sister Tanisha on the day of the verdict. What an incredible flood of emotion hearing those words “GUILTY” ring through that courtroom.