beginning again

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Today is my first day since arriving in Edmonds of really beginning this book project. My husband graciously drove me here from Arizona (yes he did 100% of the driving as I relaxed co-piloted) and with one fun overnight in Portland for a Portlandia style Valentine’s Day, we basically high-tailed it up here. Gorgeous scenery by the way through Utah and Idaho–States I’d not visited before except SLC briefly as a child. My thoughtful husband even had roses delivered to our table at the restaurant unbeknownst to me–actually I didn’t even realize he knew the name of the restaurant as I’d made the reservations. A fun tapas place showcased on the crazy show Portlandia.

We rested a day and a half here in Edmonds going to see The Revenant (!!!) and eating Oprah’s favorite fried chicken, then John left yesterday to fly back to PA and for me to begin this writing journey again.

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I’m here for 4 solid weeks this time so can work at a more organized and leisurely pace as I truly feel confident I can complete the major parts of writing this book now. Editing will come later but the vast materials I am sifting through and the organizing/writing part will be doable. I’m also working with a writing coach/editor this time and will be sending out some proposals. Wish me luck.

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With the luxury of more time, I decided to start with reading Juan Martinez’ book about convicting Jodi Arias. As I sat in that courtroom nearly every day with the family, this case is near and dear to my heart. I’ll ease in to the horror of our own case through his story telling of that one. Ironically his book was released the day I arrived here so I had it sent to me in WA. Per my plan I woke up before the crack of dawn this morning and began reading by the dim light of my cozy studio.

The sociopathy of Jodi Arias is so astounding and mind boggling as I read it described again through Martinez’ words. Her initial interview, which I’d watched on video many times, still blows me away. “Seamless” is such a perfect word he chooses to describe her velvety style of moving from story to story manipulated to defend herself while showing absolutely zero sign of anxiety. THAT my friends is a hallmark of sociopathy. And, I believe, evil manifested in this world. No shame, no remorse, no guilt, no fear.

I was also struck by the things Arias was interested in during the initial interviews. She desperately wanted to see crime scene photos and to know how Travis’ family was doing.

I believe Arias is far more dangerous than most killers including the Apelts for one reason: she took pleasure in the killing of Travis and by proxy the pain she inflicted on his family. She was demonstrating that from day one. I think she got a taste for that power and pleasure in killing and was setting off at her arrest toward her next victim with her newly purchased gun and two knives. I believe she was a budding serial killer aborted by her arrest. I just wonder who she was headed for next and also wonder if Martinez has speculated on that. Who do you think she was headed for with her concealed weapons when she was arrested?

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yes those are the roses my husband had sent to our table

I’m about a third of the way through the book and may make more notes as I go along. The sun came up and I needed a break. It’s very heavy material. I’ll continue to make notes here on it as I go along.

In addition to Martinez’ book, I had some other documents delivered to me here. One key piece of documentation was missing from all the case files I brought with me last time which was Michael Apelt’s testimony. Like Arias, it’s stunning in its display of sociopathy so for the book I have to get the exact quotes. It will leave your jaw dropping as it did all of us in the courtroom that day. Sociopaths think they can convince people by making up reality moment by moment as they go along. The sad thing is this does work for them much of the time. They will use terms like “you heard me wrong” or “you are making that up” or “that’s not what I said”  when confronted on their indiscrepancies and move, seamlessly as Martinez notes, to their next oleaginous fabricated stories. This process is confusing to most people but not to seasoned prosecutors like Martinez and our Cathy Hughes. They are expecting and waiting for it. Martinez was doing this research on her from Day One which is what is required. Sociopaths are generally the best at this game in town so it’s challenging to keep up with their slippery maneuvers.

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I’ll get to this file likely tomorrow. I have to be ready to open it all up again but will likely start there, the newest material I have. Plus I have to pick up some more highlighter pens today as I forgot mine ;).

The weather here is partly cloudy and gorgeous. I love it. I feel so peaceful here as I gaze out at the Puget Sound and breathe this lovely humid air.

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I’m for the most part alone here, as planned, so it helps to know you are all out there reading as I go along. For some reason, this is hurting my heart more to go in to this time than it did last time. Maybe it’s because I know what’s in there. Maybe because I’m thinking of Travis and his family. Maybe because this is just all part of the healing through writing for me.

Thanks for being there. ❤

 

 

12 thoughts on “beginning again

  1. Good luck with your writing. I know the journey is painful but just look how much your life has changed since you opened that door of grief you’ve been forced to carry around. It can’t be a coincidence;) {HUGS}

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are nearing the end of another phase in your journey through this loss, KCL. I feel a bit of angst among the coming release of the focused energy you have needed. Timing has been a big part of all this. Now that you are reaching sight of a published book, you are going to need someone’s hugs and support to wrap you in loving arms when the intense work is over and that time comes. I do believe your John David came along at just the perfect time in your life — for both of you.

    Best wishes for your writing and for the future. Glad to be along for the journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This must be such an emotional roller coaster for you. All of the progress you have made, thus far, is amazing. When I read it I never want to stop, but I have to, until the next parts come out. Take time to pamper yourself along the way!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love visiting beautiful places vicariously through you & your hubby! LOL I loved Juan’s book–he didn’t speculate as to who Arias was thinking of when she bought and packed that gun and those knives in the same type of rental car (white). It is terrifying to me that the gun was so well hidden, they didn’t even find it until that car was detailed at the rental place. I will always remember that horrible, hate-filled stare that Arias gave Sky Hughes as she took the stand. It gave me chills at the time–I wonder if Sky was on her “hit list.” It’s probably a foregone conclusion that Arias was thinking about harming or killing people right before her arrest–there’s no other explanation since she had just used the exact same weapons to murder Travis. I totally agree that she was a budding serial killer & was full of rage and destruction. To me Arias is satanic or demonic–she apes normal human behavior and delights in duping people around her. She uses that sweet, soft feminine voice, that innocent smile and her ultimate weapon–her sexuality. She is a foul & evil honey trap for sure. I’ll be praying for you to successfully finish your book–and I can’t wait to read it! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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