I’m back!

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Good Lord! It’s been over a year since I’ve posted here. <<spanking myself>>

I have posted a bit over on the other blog Two Innocents.

In case you missed it, Cindy’s case was featured on Investigation Discovery’s new show True Conviction. John and I were flown back to AZ (from PA where I mostly live now, or at least trying to) for the taping. It was quite an experience — not only the being picked up by a fancy car service, etc. part– but mostly it was the unexpected healing that came with it. I was so glad they allowed John to come with me, as I really needed him on so many levels. We hit the ground running, and rushed up to Sedona to retrieve photos and documents for them, before being interviewed the next day.

If you have a provider that has ID, you can watch the show via this link.

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There were also some videos of it available online, if you want to search “True Conviction Deception in the Desert”, you might find one.

The producers wanted all kinds of photos and documents and anything else that I had, which required me to dig through all of that stuff, when all I’ve been looking at for the last 3 years, have been police reports and trial records. Believe it or not, those things were emotionally easier for me to view than the photos, letters and a cassette tape I uncovered that Cindy and I passed between us, before the days of cell phones and internet, when she lived in Minnesota. Sigh…

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I had that tape copied to CD, so I can listen more easily. Chitchat between us, talking about boys we were dating, how much we missed each other, etc. Just hearing her voice again…well, you can imagine. All of the feelings.

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The act of being sort of forced to excavate those things, also forced me past some of my blocks in remembering good times with Cindy. That’s always been the hardest part. I know that sounds macabre in a way, but the deepest pain, for me, has always been remembering the great memories. It just led me down a dark rabbit hole to remember what I’ve lost–never to be again. It has been very, very hard for me and kind of a secret I’ve held. When people say things like “at least you have so many fond memories”, it’s like a dagger in my solar plexus.

Confronting that, through participating in that show, helped clear some of those brick walls of resistance out for me and connected me back to Cindy in a positive way. Yes, it has taken nearly three decades. Grieving has no timeline.

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It was also really wonderful to reconnect with our amazing prosecutor Cathy Hughes and some of the detectives involved, who never knew what became of me. It was so great to see them from a place of happiness in my life. There were so many tears and hugs all around. The producers and host Anna Sigga Niccolazzi treated us all (including Cindy) with such tenderness and respect. It was overall a very positive experience and I’m glad her story got to be told in this way.

I had some revelations, that perhaps I will write about later once I’ve let them gel inside me a little more. They will certainly land in the book somehow.

 

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Speaking of the book, once I was contacted out of the clear blue about this show, I realized it was a sign that I needed to finish the book. There is attention now around Cindy’s case and I need to finish telling it.

Also, around the same time, my dear friends in Edmonds asked if I would house-sit again for them. What an opportunity! You may (or may not) recall, that I have taken two fairly lengthy sabbaticals and have done about 99% of my writing there. I’ve rented their wonderful studio, overlooking the Puget Sound and read, literally, every document I have related to the case–from police interviews to testimony from both trials–and written about 2/3 of the book. I’m at the “Book Proposal” stage now, and over half way through crafting that lengthy document.

 

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So, in about two weeks, John and I will be flying to Seattle together, where he will stay with me in their gorgeous three story house (I call it a mansion because it is to me). He will leave after 5 days, then I will hunker down and finish the proposal, send it out (I have two agents interested in me, maybe more now because of the show) and see what happens. It’s time.

 

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I can’t wait to get to my creative haven again. I’m also glad to have that opportunity, because I also realized that it’s not easy to think about bringing the book in to my peaceful, spa-like home here in Pennsylvania. Did I mention we recently got a hot tub? Heaven soaking out in the snow-filled cold air. I’m really loving this life that I never expected to fall in to in mid-life. It is really, really wonderful and I am so grateful.

 

 

Well, these are my updates for now. Stay tuned. Very shortly I’ll be posting more snippets and book stuff. I’d really like to get this thing completed this year.

Thank you, as always, for coming along for the ride!

 

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5 thoughts on “I’m back!

  1. Welcome back, Katie!!! Have missed you and thought of you so often and was looking forward to your book. I do love your statement “Grieving has no time line.” Several years ago I read in the paper where someone’s father had been killed years before and finally they caught the killer. The reporter said “Do you feel you now have closure?” And the daughter responded, “There is no such thing as closure, you just learn to live with the pain.” Your statement adds to that. Wishing you many blessings.

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  2. Well, sweet one, I sure remember your time at the writing haven —- will you be closed off from the internet, or giving updates on the weather and beautiful scenes out the windows as you finish the book? Sending lots of good wishes that it is picked up quickly by a publisher —- amd we csn start reserving our copies.

    The show went well …. never enough time to tell it all, though. But you did wonderfully.

    … continued joy and love and hugs and supports and smiles and adventures and so much more
    to you and that great man ❤

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  3. First, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your sister’s story is devastating and I’m sorry.

    You look beautiful on the show! I’m so proud of you! You did a wonderful job. It’s not easy, but your voice was clear, you were extremely well spoken and you looked like a million dollars.

    Your sister’s story was told beautifully. Pitch perfect.

    Thank you for being you. Thank you so much for your courage, your caring, your talent — your triumph. I triumph through your triumph.

    The world is full of unexpected horrors. Bu,t life is also filled with unexpected delights. You are one of them. I feel lucky to have vibed with you over the Internet for years! It’s been an amazing ride, my friend!

    Onward!

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    1. Oh Vance (who will always be Poetic Justice to me), your words pierce my heart in such a poignant way. Tears. We have such a long history. Can you believe I JUST last week linked your blog, having to do with that “Chat Noir” picture? If you saw an increase in traffic to that page, that’s why. I love you and appreciate you more than I could ever say. ❤

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