You can have crawled through your own fires of Hell, created a beautiful wonderful current life, and still be sharing about what you recovered from for your own reasons, that you don’t need to explain. This does not mean you are “stuck” or “unhealed” (although you can be, fires of Hell can sometimes take a lifetime of continual healing).
You can also choose to be silent about what you went through, which does not mean you haven’t dealt with it. It’s just your way. Both are valid.
I’ve said before, you can have been victimized, but not make your entire identity as “victim” in the way people will criticize others for.
Living your best life, while speaking out about what you survived and continue to survive, can be occurring simultaneously.
For some, it’s hard to hear the voice of your trauma for their own reasons. For others, it’s the life raft they need to keep going. Yet, it’s ok to speak and keep speaking for yourself, knowing it’s part of your own healing path. When your words fall in the right place to help someone else, well that’s a bonus.
I once described my speaking out about a particular issue as a “splinter in my soul” that needed to dislodge in that way. I was asked to erase my words, which to me meant re-inserting that splinter that was already out. Why would I do that to myself?
With that being said, if you are called to tell your story, tell it. If you feel pressured to tell it, but prefer to keep it private, do that for yourself. Let your own needs for the telling/not telling be your compass.
I’ve moved in to what I believe are the best years of my whole life now, because I’ve spoken and re-spoken on certain things. I’m clearing myself. And it’s reinforcing that others find inspiration in watching me rise.
With all that being said, I’m hoping my words from a seven hour interview are cut and strung together tonight in a way that match my intent. And that they tell Cindy’s story with respect and understanding. I liked this production crew (British) and think they are keeping respecting her at the forefront. I felt that from the beginning. And they didn’t even try to reach out to the killers. This is more about Cindy’s story.
I’ve been invited to a Q and A discussion about the episode tomorrow night on Youtube with a true crime channel who I greatly admire. She chooses to maintain her anonymity for her own reasons, which I also greatly admire. She simply goes by the name Fanci Fiction and I think she’s brilliant, so am honored she invited me on for this.
Here is the link for that live broadcast which will be at 7pm EST tomorrow (Monday).
In the first comment below I’ll place a link for places you can catch the episode tonight at 9pm EST. Again it’s the show American Monster on the Investigation Discovery channel. Also on the Discovery Plus app.
I appreciate you tuning in for Cindy’s story. There will be video and audio and photos you’ve never seen before.
I appreciate all of you who still remember and care about our sister, who we will never, ever forget.
2 thoughts on “speak”
Where to watch Investigation Discovery:
This is so beautifully stated. I have sensed that you are in the most healthfully and positive point in your life, from your last several posts, and it’s a joy to see. Especially to hear your voice in this one. Sending you much love and a big hug ツ