missing person

4am Oscar Sunday

~ katiecoolady ~ 1 Comment

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I keep waking up at 4am. This morning, instead of trying to get back to sleep, I grabbed my laptop and brought it in bed with me and started putting some of my thoughts to paper.

As you can imagine, with this kind of immersion, my brain is constantly spinning words words words about this book.

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I decided to start laying out my 40 plus chapter is some lineup and tweaking some things.

Here is a snippet of what I added this morning to one of my pivotal chapters:

I’d left her a note on my counter with her ticket thinking she had a key to my house and might end up there as some kind of safe harbor.

Why did you leave that note? What did you mean by that? the Detective asked. I had given Debbie permission to let the police in to my home in case they needed to access it for any reason and they had already in their search for Cindy.

Just what I said. That if she’s in trouble, I’ll be there to support her no matter what I replied to his radio silence.

Little did I know, suspicion had already been cast in my direction by Michael Apelt. The cops were more interested in me and where I was going and why at that moment. That’s why they were calling. I thought it was all about trying to find Cindy.

Zombie-like I walked back on to my connecting flight, made it to Chicago where my Dad was waiting for me. We hugged, cried and crawled in to the cold car making our way down the I-57 toward Champaign. The stunned silence during that two hour drive was occasionally punctuated with me trying to convince both of us she had just run off with Mark, was holed up in a motel, had been drinking, was embarrassed; the mantra I’d been working off for the last 12 hours.

Meanwhile, the people of Phoenix were waking up on Christmas Eve day to my sister’s face all over the morning news.

Yesterday I had another two hour working session with my coach/editor. I finally landed on my new working title (not ready to share it yet) and my query letter to sent to agents. That’s my next step and one of my big goals for this month–to get that ball rolling.

I probably have about 10 more chapters to write and do believe I can complete that in the time I have left. I’m kind of editing as I go along too. It’s really coming together.

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Yesterday, I watched the final two episodes of Downton Abbey–what a show! I’d purchased the DVD set for the final season before I left and brought it with me so took a break and watched yesterday. I won’t give any spoilers but man, those last two episodes..they knocked it outta the park!

imagemy version of afternoon tea

I was thinking of going to this Oscar Gala tonight at the historic Cinerama theatre in Seattle and am now deciding against it for a variety of reasons. I think staying here and watching from my cozy studio in the front of the fire is best.

I woke up inspired today so will make today a serious writing day. That’s what I’m here for!

Hope you all have a great Sunday and here’s hoping Leo DiCaprio wins tonight for The Revenant. He deserves it!!

 

other folder

~ katiecoolady ~ Leave a comment

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I’ve only recently discovered that there is this Pandora’s box on Facebook called the “Other” folder.  It’s right next to “Inbox” when you go to check on private messages.  I opened it the other day and had dozens of messages, some spam, some important that were just lurking for me in there.

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I looked again today and realized I’d missed one.  It had come in in 2013 after I’d appeared on the Ricki Lake Show in a show titled “Murder for Money”.  There is a link to it on youtube which is set private right now but if I can get it unlocked, I will share it.  It was really an experience and I met Susan Markowitz, the mother of Nick Markowitz who was murdered by Jesse James Hollywood (his true name).  The film Alpha Dog was made after that terrible crime.

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The amazing thing was we were both asked to be on the same show and we’d corresponded through the Court TV message board many years before.  She was desperately seeking help and support around hunting down the murderer of her son at that time.  He was eventually apprehended out of the country and prosecuted.  It was just amazing to finally meet her in person in that terrible but serendipitous way.

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It was a wild experience all the way around and one I won’t forget nor regret.  Susan also gave me a copy of the book she’s written about her son’s death called My Stolen Son .

Ricki Lake called me a badass that day when we talked before going on the air.  It was an unforgettable day.

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Imagine it would link me to one of Cindy’s ex boyfriends.

This is what was waiting for me in the “other” folder:

Chat Conversation Start
August 21, 2013 1:49 pm

Hello Kathy, Finally!! I have look for you and your family in the past with no luck, I know this is a unconventional way to find people. don’t know if you remember me, ( Javier from Puerto Vallarta ) I was chanel surfing when I came across a familiar face, yours!! I never watch the Ricky Lake show but there you were today on my tv screen. I am now frantically trying to find some pictures that I have being saving for over 25 years to pass to your family, I am of course very sorry about your family tragedy, it was also by accident I found out about it many years ago, a pice of my soul is gone since then. Give my regards to your father, brother and a hug for you.
 
October 25, 2013 4:53 am

Hello again, don’t know if you are getting my messages , I did find the pics I mentioned, would love to send them to you.
Sigh….a piece of his soul is gone since then.
I relate Javier, I totally relate.
I wrote him back today so will see what photos he has to send me.  Hopefully he still has them two years later.
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Photos and photoshopping courtesy of my friend “A News Junkie” from Websleuths crime board who made this online photo slide show from my experience on the Ricki Lake Show.

Slide Show:  click here.

Day 20 – mid day

~ katiecoolady ~ 2 Comments

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Wow, I made it to the twenties!  Time has taken on an entirely new meaning with this endeavor–it’s slowed, it’s quickened, it’s stopped.  There is not one thing I’d do differently.  Ok maybe I’d work out more, that is if I was a different person born with that kind of motivation.  😉

I had a really nice evening out last night with my hostess.  We learned we have some uncanny things in common.  Her family history is nearly identical to my love John’s (that he wrote his memoir about) and she’s from the same town where we will be married this Spring…all the way across the country!  Wow.  I love everything about this place and now more to love.

I just finished my first draft of the ending of my book.  I’ve jumped all over the place which has kept me sane. Luckily I have so many stories to jump in and out of for this memoir–childhood, abuse, homicide, mental illness and somehow landing on resiliency and happiness.  Imagine that.  I found myself quoting Webster’s and Rilke and Steel Magnolias in my last words.  I have to say I’m kind of in love with those words and they generated this emotion that I made a meme out of today.  Not using this quote in the book but I found it searching for something else.

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I also wrote about John, my brother, for the first time since I got here.  That part of the book is the least arduous for me so I’ve been saving it for dessert.  But I felt like writing about him this morning so I did.  Here is a snippet:

“The kind stranger who picked him up may not have recognized the degree of his psychosis and gave him a ride to a repair shop.  The woman working there, well, there just isn’t enough to say about this person, this angel.  I don’t even know her name but she’s out there I imagine still performing good deeds.
She helped my very ill brother arrange for the tow of his car, that he had crashed in to a field due to the voices telling him to do so, and it’s repair.  She even helped him contact his insurance company.  Then she went a step further and gave him a ride to a motel where he could settle in and wait for his car.
As she left, something in this angel on Earth got a feeling she should turn back around and check on my brother.  Something about their interaction left her with an uneasy feeling about leaving him there alone and unattended.  At this point, my father and I were still in Maine, checking in with the police daily with no idea where John was, if he was ok, if he was alive.”

Now I’m heading back in to the trial.  I’ve realized I’m missing some important pieces I thought I had like Michael Apelt’s testimony.  It’s ok, I can hunt for it in Cathy’s study when I get back.  I have plenty else to read, trust me.  This is the stack I’m getting ready to dive in to in 3…2…1…

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Hope you are all out having a great Saturday.  I look out at these big grey clouds whisking by over the big Sound out there and feel nothing but grateful…not one thing other than grateful.

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suspect: me

~ katiecoolady ~ 1 Comment

They sent  Detective Ron Davis to meet me at Sky Harbor Airport.  My friend Deb insisted on being there to greet the plane.  Deb followed us in her car to the Mesa Police Station.  I sat in the back seat with Detective Davis driving who would over a year later, after the guilty verdict came in, apologize to me in a tavern for something I had no idea was even occurring during that visit.

I was famished.  You don’t eat much in crisis moments like these and then you’re starving out of nowhere.  It’s the way grief hits you sometimes.  As we rode in silence I realized it was 1pm and I hadn’t had a bite of food for over twenty four hours.  I asked Detective Davis to stop so I could grab a bite somewhere as we made the half hour drive from Phoenix to Mesa.  I was thinking a drive thru somewhere–something quick and easy.  I had no idea how long I’d be at the Police station.

It felt strange that he had to phone in to ask permission to make this stop.  Everything felt stilted.  He was too formal about this.  What’s the big deal? I thought.  It’s just a sandwich and I’m paying for it myself.  It was confusing. Like are we on some kind of tight schedule here?  I knew I only had one day to complete this interview.  I was in town for just twenty four hours and would be flying back to Illinois the next afternoon so I just chalked it up to a time factor.  But still, it was odd.

The Detective was given directions where to take me and pulled over to a dinky, non-chain sub sandwich shop in a former run- down gas station on a dilapidated corner in downtown Mesa near the police station.  Why here? I wondered. I figured it was where all the police officers ate so they had some kind of familiarity with this place. 

In reality, it was a nondescript dry turkey sandwich that Detective Davis went inside and purchased for me.  One that I choked down in an interview room alone under two way mirrored surveillance.  They wouldn’t even let Deb hang with me while I ate.  She was outside in the hall.

I had no way of knowing, that at that moment, I was being considered a suspect in Cindy’s murder.